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Online vs. In-Person

Introduction

Much of our work is about using online tools to help people connect offline. We know firsthand the value of sharing a meal, and of looking someone in the eye without the filter of a screen. Video chats are notoriously susceptible to distraction: People toggle between tabs on their computer screens, or look at the news on their phones or TVs, or find other excuses to multitask. One or two voices often dominate a conversation, with the result that others tune out.

But we’ve also been working on a remote team for the last six years, and have benefitted from powerful conversations and relationships with people we may not ever meet. The pandemic forced us to learn important tools to make virtual gatherings just as meaningful: and there’s a case to be made that sometimes, it’s the preferential choice.

Together, let’s look at when you should choose an in-person gathering, and when to choose a virtual one—and what you need to keep in mind with each.

Watch

Video transcript We think there’s one big decision point that can illuminate whether you should offer an in person or a virtual gathering, and that is accessibility.

For some, in person is more accessible: consider if your community has the technology they need to be able to join an online space, or perhaps people might not be able to find a quiet place to have a really transparent conversation in their own home. If that’s the case, choose in person! We worked with a small community in North Carolina that knew that folks needed a chance to get out of their houses and enjoy a hot meal together, so they did in person gatherings every time.

For others, virtual is more accessible: does everyone have the transportation means to be able to come to an in person space? Are there people in your group who are immunocompromised, and might feel more comfortable joining a virtual space? I led a virtual gathering of United Methodists from Maryland, DC, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania, and we had it virtual precisely because trying to find a time where all of them could travel to a central location proved impossible. I also remember a virtual gathering I attended where a woman was so moved to be able to still participate even though her chronic illness had landed her in the hospital. Consider your group, and whether an in person on online space would feel more accessible and comfortable for them.

It is worth going over some basic facilitation distinctions based on which you choose, just so you can feel well-equipped:

  • When you are in person, you can use things like eye-contact to signal that you’re listening and hearing the person who is sharing, and that really isn’t possible in a virtual space. We find that it helps, then, to offer other physical gestures: a hand on your chest or a nod,to show that you are following along.
  • If you’re in a virtual space, you’ll want to be sure to give people tips on how to use the mute function. I find that if I’m in a small group, I enjoy inviting everyone to unmute! That’s because you often lose the small ways we use sound to engage in conversation that we would never unmute for: the mhmms, for example. If you do invite everyone to unmute, you’ll just want to be mindful of background noise.
  • I’ve been in virtual spaces where someone’s audio did not work, and we still wanted to be able to include them in the conversation. Your best move is to give the group the parameters they’ll be working within: it’s not about having a perfect way to engage, it’s about everyone being clear and on the same page. You might offer: Hey, I’m going to invite you to leave the group and join back in to see if that helps with the audio. If not, we’ll have you join in through the chat. If everyone can open their chat box so you can see what so-and-so shares, that would be great. I’ll be sure to pay close attention to that.

In both virtual and in-person spaces, let people be human, let it be good and rich and connective and also complex and messy sometimes. As a facilitator, you’re not panicking when things are a little bit messy will go a long way to keep the group comfortable.

Resource: Weave Video Chat Ettiquette

Before we host a virtual gathering, we always send out a little video chat etiquette ahead of time. This helps set expectations for everyone who is coming, and cuts down on introduction time so you can get right to the conversation. Feel free to copy and paste this directly and email them to your group!

  1. Encourage everyone who can to be on video. When you log-in, click “call-in using internet audio.” If your microphone is not working or your connection is unsteady, try calling in on audio and muting the mic on your computer screen, so that you speak freely without worrying about bandwidth and mid-sentence freezes. (If the connection is poor, you may also want to turn off your video, but you’ll still have the chance to see other people, and can read the room more easily than if you’re only dialing in.)

  2. If you have earbuds or a headphone set, use them! This goes for hosts and participants alike. Be sure to keep your microphone close to your mouth, to maximize volume.

  3. Encourage everyone to mute their microphone if they’re not speaking and to unmute when they wish to speak. It helps to minimize background noise, and is a great visual cue to the group when someone wishes to speak.

  4. Encourage pauses! Break up conversation flow into 15-20 minute segments,” says the team at the Center for Applied Research Solutions. If you’re presenting information—say, opening your gathering with a talk or a meditation exercise—ask folks to use the chat box to share questions that are coming up for them, or one word they’re sitting with or choosing to take away. When gathering in-person, most People’s Supper experiences last 1.5-2.5 hours. Online conversations will likely be shorter, and that’s okay. If folks are hungry to keep talking, be sure to offer a bathroom break after an hour.

Check for understanding

The best way to decide whether to do an in person or virtual gathering is to choose which one is the most: